*~Broken Promises~*

Sunday, January 29, 2006

[[Lilium]]

Os iusti meditabitur sapientiam,
Et lingua eius loquetur indicium.

Beatus vir qui suffert tentationem,
Quoniqm cum probates fuerit accipient coronam vitae.

Kyrie, ignis divine, eleison

O quam sancta, quam serena,
quam benigma, quam amoena
O castitatis lilium...

Lily, Lillium as it is named in latin, has become one of my favorite songs within short time. I first time heard it when I was watching "Elfen Lied" on www.youtube.com .
It's a bloody, but good made, anime...my first horror anime!
The layout is an old one I have been keeping on the computer for quite a long time now.

I'm not going to explain what there has been going on in my life, cause that will take a decade...

And dad does not want to see me, again. When I, in pure angst, finally decided not to see him one the 29, today, and said it ove rthe phone to grandma, he suddenly didn't want to see me anymore. He said that he couldn't live with seeing me 2 or 3 times a year, (that's how much I can take right now) he said that he better will be without us at all.

The next day I phoned him, we talked for about 6 mins, and it ended with that I asked him if he really didn't want to see me. Wasn't a little, better than none?

He answered that he had to think about it...That was when I took the desicion:

"If you don't want to see me anymore, then fine! Fine...! Cause, mom is pregnant and when that child comes, I have a new family to love, that also loves me!" ...after that was said, I turned off the phone...

...

Short words:

Mom is very well pregnant
Father haven't contacted me yet
I'm trying to make a fantasy book
Haven't been in school for whole last week
I'm not going to fullfill all my exams in grade 9
Maiken is bitchy and Helene is not better at all
I'm maybe going to make a Shuichi Shindou cosplay once in November
Rikke and Morten have been on visit with Marcus
My Tricotrilomania is getting worse
Someday in next week, I'll receive my Kumagoro Hug bag! YES!!

Nati-chan: "Ja ne!"

Thought of you at... |1/29/2006 11:26:00 PM|

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Monday, January 16, 2006

[[New layout...]]

I went tired of the other one with Gackt!

So here I'm again...not fresh, not prepared, not in a good mood for long time and with a temper there's on the edge of exploding!
Great huh? No changes in that!

The thing I have been spending the last week on, in my book! In school we have started a project where we are going to write a "book" each. Maybe the other are thing its boring and that they aren't making more than 5 pages...
But I takes this VERY seriouse!!

I, or rather Helene, gave Lone my first layout to the story, I have named "The Demon Eye"...11 pages so far and the front page layout is half done. I have 3 weeks to make it finnished, so I wouldn't be much online the next weeks.
Oh, and I have still not posted that letter to my father. Yesterday I heard that we're going to visit grandmother and grandfather...Also Thomas...
AND MY FATHER WILL BE THERE WITH CHRISTINA AND AMALIE!
His "beloved" girlfriend and her daugther...

I sense problems...even worse if I'm going to send the latter before the meeting! What am I going to do now!?

In the meanwhile, I'm drowning everything in Gravitation episodes and hard rock music...

Saliva - Always...

I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...
it's telling me all these things...
that you would probably hide...
am I... your one and only desire...
am I the reason you breathe...
or am I the reason you cry...

Always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take anymore...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...

I feel... like you don't want me around...
I guess i'll pack all my things...
I guess i'll see you around...
It's all... been bottled up until now...
as I walk out your door...
all I can hear is the sound...

Always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take anymore...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...

I left my head around your heart...
Why would you tear my world apart...

Always... always... always... always...

I see... the blood all over your hands...
does it make you feel... more like a man...
was it all... just a part of your plan...
the pistol's shakin' in my hands...
and all I hear is the sound...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take anymore...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take anymore...
this life of solitude...
I pick myself off the floor...
and now i'm done with you...
Always...
Always...
Always...

Nati...

Thought of you at... |1/16/2006 10:35:00 PM|

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Sunday, January 08, 2006

[[January 8...STILL TIRED?!!]]

Yeees...I'm so tired I could drop dead any minute! *yaaaaawn*
So...what's been on for the past 7 days? Uumh...

I have been on a speak to Iben. Finally have I admitted that I will never see my dad like normal kids does. That hope is gone. I have therefor writen a letter where I tells about my wish and feelings. I wrote about my viewe at the divorce, I wrote about my disarpointment and I wrote that I only will see him if mom is with me.

I'm going to show Iben the letter in next week.

I have not managed to come in school every day in last week. I have been too tired or for other reasons, not showed up.

Yesterday, We where visiting Thomas family again. This time where Lis and Bruno there and Thomas brothers family there!

Anders, Thomas elder brother, his wife Marianne and theire children Lise (3 years old) and Jakob(5 months old). Also one of Anders other children, Björn(16 years old) where there...DAMN HE WAS HANDSOME!!!! XQ___

*COUGH COUGH COUGH*

Steff called today, just before mom and Thomas leaved to go to Beate. He just wanted to say how proud he was of Daniel and I...

Thank you Steff...

Nati

Thought of you at... |1/08/2006 01:13:00 PM|

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Sunday, January 01, 2006

[[Year 2006 is begun...]]

A new year...
Here we go!

Ziz has been the reason why I haven't updated lately! She have been with us since December 28 as planned and went home today at midday.
It have been SO FUNNY...but now I'm totaly exhausted and needs to sleep...
Sleep a lot...

Girls Goth-Style...

Nati...*faints...*

Thought of you at... |1/01/2006 11:40:00 PM|

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