*~Broken Promises~*

Thursday, September 22, 2005

[[22th of September...A bit depressed...]]

Hi hi here I am!

And I'm STILL alive! The surgery went fine! So let's start with telling about it!

I came to the Hospital, that place for the children is called D2, 8.30 as planned. But there was some kids before me. So...I'll have to wait.
I got in the hospital clothing, a button up short dress, and up in one of the beds. That part was scary. I really felt like it was seriouse when I HAD to get into that bed!

First at 9.50 a man came to bring me to the surgery room. Beleive me...I didn't feel good!

The last thing I remember from the room is that I was interduced to the doctors and that they put some diffrent instruments on me. One to check bloodpresure, one to heart-rythm and then...that thing I REFUSED to looke at...a needel in my left had to get the sleeping drug in...

Mom was with me...that does I rememeber...and that I felt tears down my cheeks....not that I was THAT scared...then the drug was giving...and everything went black...

Then, the first thing I remember after, was a smiling face. One of the female doctors. She said "Good Morning, it's over now!" I think I wispered a little "Thank you" and then I fell into sleep again.

Second time I woke up, I remember I was laying down on the bed I was transproted in and that some of the instruments still where cobled to me. Mom wasn't there. Not yet.
Then another female doctor saw me awake and gave me something to drink. I couldn't swallow it, so most of it went back again. Ops...
After around 10-15 minuttes, I heard mom comming. I couldn't see her because of the white cotton sheet there was the "walls" between each patient.
Then she ripped it away and was by my side with hyper-speed.
She had cried. I could see it on her.

When we got back at D2 I got something to eat. I couldn't eat much, despite I was hungry like hell. Why? Well...I got "air in my stomach" and I HURTED!
So I farted xDDDDD

Around 2.10pm we could go home.

And what about the last few days?

Well...I haven't got the lab results, but I'm feeling better! But then...more problems...
I have got my fucked up depresion back. Yesterday at the guitar lesson, I wnet TOTALY down! Not a good way to start! I went I total panic and couldn't find the right strings and the sound was just WRONG!

And that smell of metal the strings on a guitar, the same as coins also have, went straigt into my brain and made me panic.

Well...Let me tell. I have this, silly, habit...or how to call it, that I HATE the smell of METAL! It is reminding me of blood and that make me panic. Of same reson, I really tried to avoid toutching coins, door knobs and that kind of stuff that have that smell.

Because of the, and something other, i have told Berit to quit me freom the team. Helene don't know yet, but I'll tell her tomorrow. About Helene...I also had "Computer and Video" lessons with her. Also THEM have I decided to quit. The reason is my tiredness and my missing/forgot homework.

There is more little incidents there have made me became sad...I really don't want to tell about it!

To make me laugh again, I have been on grineflip.dk! It means something like "Laughing-fit" and there was a picture of two cats and someone laughing! I WAS SO FUN!
When ototo saw it, he was also roling on the floor! I can't waite to show mom!

SHE IS GOING TO LAUGH HER ASS OFF FOR SERIOUSE!

Ja Ne from Nati...

Ps: DON'T lisent to Staind with "It's been Awhile" if you're in a sad mood. It'll just make it worse! I'm speaking of experience!

Thought of you at... |9/22/2005 02:10:00 PM|

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